Hello and Happy Hump Day to you all!
As noted before, I took a pause in my blogging. My life was full of meetings, deadlines, and plans for awhile and it was important to me to take my free time to relax. Blogging is fun for me, but I had given myself the expectation to release these blogs on a weekly basis. As life got busier, I had to let go of the pressure to meet the weekly deadlines. I had to remember that blogging is supposed to by a form of expression for me and not a duty. Self care is important, my friends.
It was during that free time that I realized some important lessons about myself and about life. I’ve constantly heard the phrase “Happiness is not a destination.” You can hear all the quotes you want about how to live your life. And they can be the prettiest words you’ve ever heard. But sometimes, you just have to wait and learn what it all actually means. Sometimes that can take a damn long time.
I think most people come to a point in their life where they realize happiness isn’t a constant. In fact, happiness can seem like a far away place. They face struggles – the kind that aren’t just a slew of bad days. They’re the kind that can last for weeks or maybe months. You sit there and question “Why is this happening? Why can’t I just be happy?” You want to be happy, so what’s stopping you? Why isn’t it that simple?
I don’t have an answer for this, but I guess I have my own experience with it. I have my own truths. Sometimes, it just takes time, the right people, and the right conversations.
A large part of your life is your mindset. But our mindsets have been carved from literally the time you were born. So the thoughts you have aren’t easily changed. The thoughts you’ve created from experiences can be warped, false, ridiculous – but they are still the voice that never leaves your head. They aren’t simply switched with a snap of your fingers.
But it’s important to remember that this applies to positivity too. In the past few weeks, I found myself letting go of the failures and imperfections. From as long as I can remember, I wanted to be perfect and please everybody around me. As I thought about the whole happiness theory and had multiple conversations with some of my closest friends, I realized that I was a perfectionist because of how I was raised.
If a kid comes home thrilled that they got a 100 on their multiplication test, but sees that it isn’t a big deal to Mom or Dad, they get the notion that they just need to step it up. Because maybe then they’ll make Mom or Dad proud. This carries into adulthood. This is just one example.
I think it’s getting a little ranty – so back to the point. To find happiness, you must must must be present. You have to stop in time and think about what it is at the moment you need or want. What conversations do you want to have and who do you want to have them with. What do you need to take care of yourself? The second you find yourself dwelling on a past memory or having a worry about the future – pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself those questions.
The bad days still come around. But I promise you, you will be able to feel happiness when you throw yourself into present moments and live in the now. It’s incredibly cliche, and it sounds vague. It’s honestly a process that takes a long, long time to learn.
But it’s worth it. The moments of happiness are completely worth it.